My mother is always yelling at me every time I try to talk with her, what would you do in such case?

Answer 1

I have a daughter that says the same thing about me. I'm actually not yelling. If you knew me there’s quite a difference!

I'm probably being louder than normal and it's just because of my frustration with things that don't get done around the house. No one knows how to use a dishwasher. The kids do their laundry but leave the towels for me to fold and bring upstairs. The recycling sits on the counter. On and on.

So when something comes up I'm so frustrated with no one ever hearing me I talk about the issue and then I continue on about everything because I'm just venting. Not just venting I want things to change but they don't.

나는 당신의 엄마가 당신의 하루가 어땠는지 소리를 지르지 않을 것이라고 확신하지만 그녀는 왜 이것이 완료되지 않았는지 소리를 지르고 있습니다. 이것은 제 개인적인 경험일 뿐입니다. 아니면 그녀가 생각하는 데 왜 그녀가 소리를 지르는지 물어보는 것이 좋습니다. 생각해보면 이미 답을 알고 계실 거라 생각합니다.

Answer 2

Hi, Kamen. I don't know what your mother is like nor do I know you and your situation to comment on whether she really care or not for you...but I know deep down inside she not only care for you but LOVES you! We parents juggle many worries (in mind) as well as things on a daily basis, while (for children and youth) growing up can be challenging, confusing, stressful and scary at times. Under pressure neither one can communicate well. What more when there's cultural and generational gap (to name a few). There's also communication break down when involved other factors like finance and other people. Then, there's communication styles, personality and defense mechanism.

When my daughter was little, she ran crying to me with her hurting feelings, and I knew exactly what to go for little girls. Now, soon to be 14, she doesn't ran to me, but rather pout, go into silence, or irritated which made it hard to talk to her. I often just let her be until she smoothed out then we could talk better. Unfortunately, she took that as I don't care. Then few years back, my oldest son open up to me about how his dad's and mine divorce effected him growing up: I choked and could NOT respond until these days while when he was a little boy I always knew what to say to him: always seem to have an answer to all his questions....your mother loves you, know that and always remember even in hard times. She does underneath her rough edges or during her silence.
What had help me and my children these passed 3 years is learning each other Love language (author, Dr Gary Chapman). I try to reach them by speaking their language as they come to recognize mine.

Learn and try her language.

I really wish both the BEST!