Annem ona depresyonumdan en son bahsettiğimde bana bağırdı ve hatta birkaç haftalığına beni cezalandırdı. Bana bağırmadan ondan nasıl yardım isteyebilirim?
Yanıtlar
Bu hastalıkla uğraşırken kabul etmeniz gereken bir şey var: herkes “anlamıyor”.
Ne yazık ki, bu insani kusur, sizi en çok seven ve size yardım etmek için ellerinden geleni yapması gerekenler için bile geçerlidir.
Her ne sebeple olursa olsun, anneniz depresyonla mantıklı bir şekilde başa çıkacak donanıma sahip değil. Bunu huysuzluk veya yaygın (klinik değil) depresyon olarak görüyor olabilir. Ya da yüzleşemediği kendi sorunları olabilir ve bunları sende görmek, savunmaya geçmesine neden olabilir.
Whatever it is, do NOT give up hope and do NOT give up on yourself. I am very proud of you for trying to talk to her about it in the first place, because that first step is what holds so many of us back. It is not easy to admit to another person that something is wrong and that you need help. It takes courage. Bravo!
What you will have to do now is turn to someone else you feel you can rely on. Your doctor is one possibility, but if you are young and he is your pediatrician it may be he is too close to it to see clearly. Whatever, you have to keep asking for help. Turn to a teacher. A counselor. A friend or the parent of a friend. A minister. Keep asking for help until you get the help you need.
I was fortunate. The first people I turned to were noty parents but professionals and they took me seriously and got me the treatment I needed. But my parents still don't get it. My father tells me I just have to buck up and pull myself up by my bootstraps. That kinda thing. Not understanding that on a bad I pull myself up by my bootstraps to get out of bed, then I do it again to brush my teeth, again to get dressed…. But you get the point.
There are medications and therapies out there that can make a world of difference for you. Believe in yourself and keep asking different people for help until somebody finally helps you. You have already taken the biggest step, now take the next one.
I am wondering why you are having depression in the first place and as you are a teenager could it be due to your childhood and family environment at home. This could be why your mother reacted in this way, she got angry because deep down she doesn’t want to accept the reality that your depression might be related to her and how she has been as a mother. So she turned it back on you.
Or she just thought you are over-reacting and decided to punish you because she doesn’t understand what it means to be depressed. Either way her actions are unacceptable and as your mother she should be supportive in you seeking to get the right help. I would try one of three ways… talk to a relative/trusted adult about your depression and ask them to explain it to her. Second, say mum I need to have an adult conversation with you. Can we talk over a cup of tea. Make sure you have some info with you on depression in teens. Because just incase she kicks off again, you can say here read it. Third, write her a letter and explain because of her reaction the last time, this was most easiest way for you to say how you are feeling and as my mother you need to understand and support me in getting help. Also include some info. Finally if those all fail, then ring a helpline for abused children. You do need to be diagnosed, as well as finding out if your family life triggers or contributes to your depression.